In recent breaking news, “Christian” pastor Joel Osteen and televangelist Benny Hinn have announced that the new Lakewood Theological Seminary will be opening early 2015. With an impressive campus size of 6 buildings totally about 43,000 square feet, there will be plenty of room for all the new students that they anticipate. To greet all students there will be a 24 hour starbucks on campus. All students will also receive a new computer upon arrival.
The following classes are the only classes that have been released so far:
– Become a better you 101
– I declare: 31 promises to speak over your life 201
– Break out 202
– Your best life now 301
– Every day a friday 404
These are the only classes that have been released until further notice. The campus is about 95% complete with only minor cosmetic issues to be worked on. The complimentary valet parking, Starbucks, and on site cosmetic bungalow, specializing in teeth whitening and hair sculpting, are already complete.
We have reached out to Benny Hinn on any information about the classes he will be teaching. His only reply is that his classes will not start till November 2nd after the end of daylight savings time so that every one will have plenty of time to fall back.
Stay tuned for updates and breaking news.
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