Jesus

The man behind the mask (PT. 1)

Hi.

How are you doing?

Good I hope. My name is Anonymous Church Member and I want to tell you a story. Part of my story. This is not an ordinary story, it’s part of mine. Names,places and events have been changed so that I don’t get in to deep.

It will also be in a different format. 

It won’t be paragraph after paragraph, but more like a conversation. I am not a writer, but just a person wanting to tell a story. Mine.

My back story – 1) Married       2) Four kids       3) Bachelors in Theology   5) Failure

My life has been pretty simple. Got married young. Had some kids. Got a bachelors degree. I work 2.5 jobs just trying to make ends meat. 

I have friends. I have loving parents. They got divorced when I was young, but have loved me regardless of them being apart. 

I graduated high school with a 3.7 GPA and a few extra credits also. I had dreams. Dreams that could soar high above the clouds. I thought I was doing everything properly. I went to Bible college, I worked at a church, and was thinking I would be a pastor soon!

But, boy was I wrong. Long story short. I got screwed over pretty hard by a church I was involved with for over 20 years. I did a little of everything there. I preached, played in the band, ran sound, and I was in charge of small groups. I had much responsibility.

But one day, it was almost as if they forgot about me.     And I left.

Heart broken.

Alone. 

Neglected. 

With out giving you all the details, I need to explain something to you about me. 

I have always had big dreams. I have always wanted to do something great. – but never have. 

I also never told anyone how I really felt. I put on a great mask that hid how I truly was feeling. Little did any one know, I was broken. Crying on the inside. Wanting to go away and never come back.

Two times in my life I wanted commit suicide. I almost drowned myself and the second time I thought about slicing my wrists. But didn’t. I never went through with it. My mind was hell. And no one knew it. I was not the Christian man that people thought I was on the outside. I was falling apart. 
No one cared. I was alone. My life in my mind was one big lie. I was a Christian. I was a broken Chrisitan. Feeling that God forgot about me.
I was ok with this. God was finished with me and my life was never destined for greatness. 

I was going to just be an ordinary person. Stuck in mediocrity. I was alone. Surrounded by people all by myself. 

Or so I thought. Help was coming. 

Just not right this second.

 

Next time on my blog.  Playing with fire


Twitter – @anonchurchmembr 

Breaking News: Osteen-Hinn open new seminary

Lakewood_church1

 

In recent breaking news, “Christian” pastor Joel Osteen and televangelist Benny Hinn have announced that the new Lakewood Theological Seminary will be opening early 2015. With an impressive campus size of 6 buildings totally about 43,000 square feet, there will be plenty of room for all the new students that they anticipate. To greet all students there will be a 24 hour starbucks on campus. All students will also receive a new computer upon arrival.

The following classes are the only classes that have been released so far:

– Become a better you 101

– I declare: 31 promises to speak over your life 201

– Break out 202

– Your best life now 301

– Every day a friday 404

 

These are the only classes that have been released until further notice. The campus is about 95% complete with only minor cosmetic issues to be worked on. The complimentary valet parking, Starbucks, and on site cosmetic bungalow, specializing in teeth whitening and hair sculpting, are already complete.

We have reached out to Benny Hinn on any information about the classes he will be teaching. His only reply is that his classes will not start till November 2nd after the end of daylight savings time so that every one will have plenty of time to fall back.

 

Stay tuned for updates and breaking news.

 

 

 

Follow me on Twitter: @anonchurchmembr
Email: Churchmemberanon@gmail.com
Churchmemberanon.wordpress.com
theanonchurch.org

Top 4 ways to know your an IFB

I was never really turned on to the IFB (Independent Fundamentalist Baptists). I did not know who or what they  really were. That was until I got onto twitter and started following different people around. I quickly caught on to who they are and what they believe. They blew me away. I could not believe these people are real. I know I will get a lot of flack from saying this, but they are the Pharisees of the modern day. They do have some really interesting things they say and interesting things they do. But for the average joe who has never seen or heard of the IFB I present to you the top 4 ways* to tell if you are dealing with an IFB.

 

*According to me

 

 

4) Golden Coral knows you by name

               – Many different types of Baptists always claim how much they like to eat on Sundays after church. I see hundreds of posts and pictures of the meals they are about to consume. If you took all the food I have seen and read about, I am pretty sure you could feed a small country for a day with all of it. I am not necessarily calling them fat or obese, but if the suit jacket doesn’t fit it might be time to cut out the buffet every weekend. After the 5th time in a row on a Sunday at the same time of day, the servers will start having your table ready and drink on the table when you get there.

3) Cuff Links  

              –  This is one thing I totally do not understand at all. The IFB preachers fascination with cuff links. I have seen so many of them post pictures of these silly little things. Some one them probably worth as much as I make in a month. There are so many diamonds and gold around them I am pretty sure that Solomon would love them. (Yes that was a terrible joke I know) I mean look at those babies! So shiny! So round! And not to mention the fancy embroidery on the cuff also!

photo

2) Their awesome taste in music

            – First off I am writing this in 2014. Music is awesome. From Emery and Lecrae to Justin timberlake and Wierd Al. Music is continually evolving. It changes with society. It is molded to the people of the day. The one thing it does not do is stay stagnant and just sit there. Years ago the organ was the way to go. I will not deny many great hymns were created and sung back then. Many of them are still great today. Some have been redone with different instruments added to them. Some guitar, drums, electric piano and a bass just to name a few. This does not include all the crazy loops and beats people put behind them also. There are many different variations of songs. For some crazy reason the IFB is stuck on this old school hymnal/organ thing. I know that there are great hymns like I said before. I know they are rooted in good theology. I know that there is no issue for them to be sung today. I encourage it. But when we get stuck in this old  rut and never try to move out of it, we miss out on so much more of what God has for us. I will admit there are many songs today that are theologically inaccurate. Many of them drive me up a wall. There are also songs from the hymnals that are just as bad in there theology. But there is a place for compromise and a blending of old tradition and the culture we live in.

hymn

And the number one way to know your are dealing with an IFB is

1) KJVO

              –  They are King James Version Only. There is no debating this with them. They hold that all the “Thee’s” and “Thous” are the only way to go. Any thing else besides that is wrong and in error. They get so stuck in their “old paths” ways that they do not even see the error’s of the KJV. Yes, there are errors in the KJV. Just like in every other version of the Bible. Whether it is a miss-translation or something was not put in the other versions, there are minuscule errors.( Yah, Yah, Yah, Do not get upset, that is another issue to discuss on another day) What I am saying is that today we have so many more manuscripts and other documents to help translate to a more exact translation of the original translation. We need to read from many different versions to have a better understanding of what the Bible is saying. Ok except for the message translation. You have my permission to never read that translation. In fact, I beg of you to never read it again.

thee

So there you have it. My quick handy guide to know if you are dealing with, are turning into, or are an IFB. I hope it can help you in some sort of way deal with the day to day of these people.

Follow me on Twitter: @anonchurchmembr
Email: Churchmemberanon@gmail.com
Churchmemberanon.wordpress.com
theanonchurch.org

“My Anonymous Life”

 

 

thumb

 

Do you see that circle? Its there on the left. That is me. That is where I am. Hidden in the crowd of people. Looking on in wonder of the pastor on stage. One day I will be a pastor up there. Probably not in a crowd this big. But still on stage, preaching to people. That is my dream one day.

 

For now, I will sit and wait quietly, study, and pray. I have my bachelors degree and soon am going to start my masters degree. This is all true. I have not made up any of that. I will also keep running my “Anon” twitter account. The Anonymous church member.

 

The whole point of this blog post is to give you an idea of what it is like in the day and life of an anonymous church member.

I live a very quiet life. I work about 65 hours a week. I also have a family to take care of. I get up at about 5:00 every morning and don’t get to bed till about 10:00 at night. The getting up at 5 isn’t for prayer and meditation either. It’s for work. I go through my day like this:

Working.

Working.

Working.

Then all of a sudden it hits me.  *Something I believe is funny that I can put on Twitter*

Working.

Working.

 

That is pretty much how it works. I know exciting right? I am a very boring person in real life. I just anonymously just go to work. Do my thing. Come home. Play with my kids. Take a nap. Then do my honey do list. Take a shower and go to bed. Then rinse and repeat.

 

When the weekend comes, I usually work Saturdays. Sundays are my only full day off. When I go to church I drop my kids off at their appropriate classes and then head to the sanctuary and slide into my seat towards the back row. Sorry BackrowBaptist, I just can not sit there. I lost my glasses and it is tough to see the stage. I sit there doing my best to not fall asleep, astutely listening to the pastor preach. After service, I grab my kids and head home.

 

Now here is the thing. I am truly anonymous at my church. I am truly anonymous at my job. If I left not many people would really notice. I am just another face in the crowd. But that is according to what every one sees when they look at me. That is not truly how I see myself.

 

I see my self one day as a pastor of a church influencing a congregation of people. Whether it will be a church of 100 or 10,000 I will gladly accept what ever God gives me. I am going to do the Godly thing and quote a verse here. Jeremiah 29:11. Every one knows that verse. Everyone uses it out of context. So let me bring it into context. (Click here to read the whole chapter). This verse was written about the exiles in Babylon. They were taken away to a far away country and left with what looked like no hope.  This was hope given to them that one day they would return back to their home land. So when reading it, I recommend reading verse 10. Which says that when the 70 years of exile are over, they would be brought back, because God knows the plans He has for them.

How do I make that make sense in the context of what I am talking about? I know the plans God has for me. I know that one day He will put me in the position of pastor and let me lead a church.The catch is getting there. Right now I am in a place like Babylon. Far away from where my heart is. In a land looking for the time when my exile is over. Some times it seems like I am forgotten. Like I am just a random anonymous person with a dream. Then I remember how far God has brought me. How much He truly loves me. That I am not forgotten and that He knows me by name.

 

To all who read this that are going through a hard and difficult time. Remember that God has not forgotten about you no matter how insignificant you feel. It does suck really bad being in Babylon, but remember God knows you by name. To become a diamond you first have to be coal and go through a ton of pressure and heat. It hurts. On the other side though you will shine with the beauty God has truly given to you.

 

Are you going through difficult times where you feel like you are just an anonymous person?

 

 

 

Follow me on Twitter: @anonchurchmembr
Email: Churchmemberanon@gmail.com
Churchmemberanon.wordpress.com
theanonchurch.org