I was never really turned on to the IFB (Independent Fundamentalist Baptists). I did not know who or what they really were. That was until I got onto twitter and started following different people around. I quickly caught on to who they are and what they believe. They blew me away. I could not believe these people are real. I know I will get a lot of flack from saying this, but they are the Pharisees of the modern day. They do have some really interesting things they say and interesting things they do. But for the average joe who has never seen or heard of the IFB I present to you the top 4 ways* to tell if you are dealing with an IFB.
*According to me
4) Golden Coral knows you by name
– Many different types of Baptists always claim how much they like to eat on Sundays after church. I see hundreds of posts and pictures of the meals they are about to consume. If you took all the food I have seen and read about, I am pretty sure you could feed a small country for a day with all of it. I am not necessarily calling them fat or obese, but if the suit jacket doesn’t fit it might be time to cut out the buffet every weekend. After the 5th time in a row on a Sunday at the same time of day, the servers will start having your table ready and drink on the table when you get there.
3) Cuff Links
– This is one thing I totally do not understand at all. The IFB preachers fascination with cuff links. I have seen so many of them post pictures of these silly little things. Some one them probably worth as much as I make in a month. There are so many diamonds and gold around them I am pretty sure that Solomon would love them. (Yes that was a terrible joke I know) I mean look at those babies! So shiny! So round! And not to mention the fancy embroidery on the cuff also!
2) Their awesome taste in music
– First off I am writing this in 2014. Music is awesome. From Emery and Lecrae to Justin timberlake and Wierd Al. Music is continually evolving. It changes with society. It is molded to the people of the day. The one thing it does not do is stay stagnant and just sit there. Years ago the organ was the way to go. I will not deny many great hymns were created and sung back then. Many of them are still great today. Some have been redone with different instruments added to them. Some guitar, drums, electric piano and a bass just to name a few. This does not include all the crazy loops and beats people put behind them also. There are many different variations of songs. For some crazy reason the IFB is stuck on this old school hymnal/organ thing. I know that there are great hymns like I said before. I know they are rooted in good theology. I know that there is no issue for them to be sung today. I encourage it. But when we get stuck in this old rut and never try to move out of it, we miss out on so much more of what God has for us. I will admit there are many songs today that are theologically inaccurate. Many of them drive me up a wall. There are also songs from the hymnals that are just as bad in there theology. But there is a place for compromise and a blending of old tradition and the culture we live in.
And the number one way to know your are dealing with an IFB is
1) KJVO
– They are King James Version Only. There is no debating this with them. They hold that all the “Thee’s” and “Thous” are the only way to go. Any thing else besides that is wrong and in error. They get so stuck in their “old paths” ways that they do not even see the error’s of the KJV. Yes, there are errors in the KJV. Just like in every other version of the Bible. Whether it is a miss-translation or something was not put in the other versions, there are minuscule errors.( Yah, Yah, Yah, Do not get upset, that is another issue to discuss on another day) What I am saying is that today we have so many more manuscripts and other documents to help translate to a more exact translation of the original translation. We need to read from many different versions to have a better understanding of what the Bible is saying. Ok except for the message translation. You have my permission to never read that translation. In fact, I beg of you to never read it again.
So there you have it. My quick handy guide to know if you are dealing with, are turning into, or are an IFB. I hope it can help you in some sort of way deal with the day to day of these people.
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