Hi.
How are you doing?
Good I hope. My name is Anonymous Church Member and I want to tell you a story. Part of my story. This is not an ordinary story, it’s part of mine. Names,places and events have been changed so that I don’t get in to deep.
It will also be in a different format.
It won’t be paragraph after paragraph, but more like a conversation. I am not a writer, but just a person wanting to tell a story. Mine.
My back story – 1) Married 2) Four kids 3) Bachelors in Theology 5) Failure
My life has been pretty simple. Got married young. Had some kids. Got a bachelors degree. I work 2.5 jobs just trying to make ends meat.
I have friends. I have loving parents. They got divorced when I was young, but have loved me regardless of them being apart.
I graduated high school with a 3.7 GPA and a few extra credits also. I had dreams. Dreams that could soar high above the clouds. I thought I was doing everything properly. I went to Bible college, I worked at a church, and was thinking I would be a pastor soon!
But, boy was I wrong. Long story short. I got screwed over pretty hard by a church I was involved with for over 20 years. I did a little of everything there. I preached, played in the band, ran sound, and I was in charge of small groups. I had much responsibility.
But one day, it was almost as if they forgot about me. And I left.
Heart broken.
Alone.
Neglected.
With out giving you all the details, I need to explain something to you about me.
I have always had big dreams. I have always wanted to do something great. – but never have.
I also never told anyone how I really felt. I put on a great mask that hid how I truly was feeling. Little did any one know, I was broken. Crying on the inside. Wanting to go away and never come back.
Two times in my life I wanted commit suicide. I almost drowned myself and the second time I thought about slicing my wrists. But didn’t. I never went through with it. My mind was hell. And no one knew it. I was not the Christian man that people thought I was on the outside. I was falling apart.
No one cared. I was alone. My life in my mind was one big lie. I was a Christian. I was a broken Chrisitan. Feeling that God forgot about me.
I was ok with this. God was finished with me and my life was never destined for greatness.
I was going to just be an ordinary person. Stuck in mediocrity. I was alone. Surrounded by people all by myself.
Or so I thought. Help was coming.
Just not right this second.
Next time on my blog. Playing with fire
Twitter – @anonchurchmembr
Church Members Anonymous 